Not Just A Book Cover
by dream-of-belief
Summary: Or "Before and After." An Artie character piece. "That's how you date things: B.A. and A.A. - before the accident and after the accident."


_**Title:**_ _"Not Just A Book Cover" _(or _"Before and After")_

_**Rating:**_ G

_**Characters:**_ Artie, mentions of Tina and Rachel

_**Pairing:**_ Artie/Tina angstiness; Artie/Rachel friendship

_**Summary:**_ _"That's how you date things: B.A. and A.A. – before the accident and after the accident."_

_**Author's Note:**_ Third instalment in my second-person character pieces, this time feature the one and only Artie Abrams! I love Artie to pieces...it probably has something to do with my love of nerds and fact that he is pretty much the coolest nerd EVER. Inspired by the performances of "Proud Mary" (both by New Directions and Jane Adams), the 'break-up' between Artie and Tina, little snippets from performances where Artie and Rachel seem to be fairly close, and other little scenes that aren't really worth mentioning. I'm kinda nervous about this one. I'm not sure how well I captured Artie. Let me know how I did, please!

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You've never been normal. Even before the accident, people avoided you. It probably had something to do with your complete disregard for anything 'cool.' You liked suspenders. You also happened to like belts. You never cared about trying to be cool or popular. You liked school and math and chess. You also liked the guitar, but no one ever really cared about that once they heard you liked math and chess.**

But it's different after the accident.

That's how you date things: B.A. and A.A – before the accident and after the accident.

After the accident people begin to forget your name. You just become "the kid in the wheelchair." It's hard. You hate that people only notice your wheels.

That's not who you are. You're Artie. _Artie Abrams._ You can play the guitar almost as well as Pete Townsend or Neil Schon. You can sing and sing _well._ You could teach the Calculus class. You have medals and honours for chess.

You begin to think that no one will ever notice you. You begin to think that you're doomed to be "that kid in the wheelchair" for the rest of your life.

Then you find Glee and suddenly it isn't B.A. and A.A. anymore. It's B.G. and A.G. – before Glee and after Glee. Or maybe it should be B.T. and A.T. Yes, that was more accurate. Before Tina and after Tina.

You swiftly become best friends with her. Finally, _finally,_ there is someone who understands how hard everything is for you. Someone who isn't surprised when you say that your arms ache and throb from pushing yourself around all day. Someone who will push for you to help. Someone who has as hard of a time speaking as you do moving.

You aren't surprised when you fall for her.

You aren't surprised when you think you love her.

After all, she _understands_. She _knows what it's like._

You finally get up the nerve and you're on a date. With her. With _Tina._ Everything is perfect. She's racing you down the hallway. She's laughing and you don't think there's been a better sound. She's _kissing _you. Everything is perfect. You feel like nothing can ever bring you down. You're on top of the world. It doesn't matter that you're in a wheelchair anymore. You wouldn't want things any different because you have _her._

Then she confesses.

A lie. Everything was lie.

She never really understood you. She never _really_ understood what you have to go through every day.

You feel like you've been burned. Betrayed. You want to cut her from your life. Sever all ties and pretend you never knew her. Never loved her. Never trusted her.

But you are Artie Abrams, and Artie Abrams does not hold grudges. Artie Abrams cannot stay angry for long.

So you stay. You try and act normally.

But it isn't the same.

You can't trust her anymore.

You can't _connect _with her anymore.

And you hate it. You hate it because you feel like the bad guy.

Artie Abrams is not a bad guy.

You know that it shouldn't change anything. It isn't like you fell in love with her because of her stutter. It's why you noticed her at first, it's why you connected with her at first, but that's not all she is. You know that. It's like that saying: you can't judge a book by its cover. Both of you are more than just book covers.

But you just can't do it anymore. You can't be whatever you were before. You want to be able to, but you just _can't. _Every time you're with her you wonder why she lied to you. You wonder why she felt the _need_ to lie to you. You've been inseparable for months. Why wouldn't she tell you until now? It wasn't until everyone else started using wheelchairs that you even mentioned her stutter. Until then it was unmentioned. It was present, but never addressed. You wonder if you ever meant as much to her as she meant to you.

So you get even more involved with Glee. You begin to form stronger friendships with your fellow Glee members. You're surprised most when you find a sense of camaraderie with Rachel, of all people.

You spend almost every day after school rehearsing. You realise that you're avoiding Tina, but you keep doing so. You can't face her and act normally when it feels like a lie. What you never realised, however, is how much time Rachel spends rehearsing. Her talent did not come naturally. At least, not fully. She's there every day after school rehearsing and stays as long as she can.

Neither of you say much which surprises you. After all, Rachel Berry never stops talking. But all she ever does after school is sing or play the piano. She even asks you to sing with her sometimes. You don't know if it's really a friendship, but you get along. You have an understanding. Rachel may not understand your disability, but she knows what it's like to be an outcast.

You think she may know what that's like even better than you.

And you begin to understand Rachel's obsession with Glee. You begin to love it more than you ever thought you would or could.

Which is why you were so upset when your songs were stolen at sectionals. Glee had begun to mean everything to you. You had this vision that after you performed "Proud Mary" everything would be better. You thought that you would be able to find someone who understood you, _all _of you.

And even though it feels amazing and indescribable to have won, you wish that you could have won with "Proud Mary."

But for now, having won at all is good enough.

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**Please review! I love constructive criticism!**


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